This question is asked in a myriad of ways from every direction. If you took the vax, you’re a sheep; if you didn’t, you want people to die. If you’re MAGA, you’re not a true conservative; if you’re a Republican, then you aren’t mapping reality as it actually is. “All of you are fools for not seeing the world as I do!”

This is the world we live in, a world of chaos that threatens to destroy coalitions not from the outside but from within. But what is really happening, and what boundaries are actually biblical?

Let me start with what I mean by biblical boundaries. I’m a Baptist. SBC born and raised. But I’m joyfully in fellowship with Presbyterians, Charismatics, Non-denominational, IFB, and any number of people from other denominations. We disagree on important and significant things: baptism, church governance, spiritual gifts, and many more minutiae as well. But we share essential orthodoxy. The Trinity, the authority of Scripture, and salvation through Christ alone are all important and agreed upon. Within those boundaries, there’s room for genuine disagreement and true partnership.

Politics should work in a similar way. Scripture does, after all, establish clear commands for all of life. Even so, it leaves many prudential questions to wisdom and conscience. We cannot make coalition litmus tests out of questions Scripture doesn’t settle. That is simply a purity spiral waiting to happen.

Let me give you an example of a purity spiral that most everyone can agree was ridiculous. Defund the Police. The movement started with something many people could support: prison reform. But those of us who were paying special attention saw what was happening. The woke-warriors shifted the goalposts. “Abolish the police!” they demanded. “You’re a fascist who wants a dictatorship if you disagree!” The window became so narrow that no discourse was welcome.

And now? Conservatives are doing the same thing to ourselves.

Trump took advantage of the shrinking of the democrat coalition to win in 2024. But now, if you support the strikes on Iran, you’re a warmonger. If you question sending aid to Israel, you’re antisemitic. If you didn’t oppose the COVID vaccine, you’re controlled opposition. If you question election results, you’re a conspiracy theorist. If you don’t question them, you’re blind to reality.

This is how purity spirals work. Two sides of a potential alliance, each try to gain authority by claiming moral superiority. Neither side wins in the end. Instead, the coalition fractures and we all become weaker.

I think something important is happening right now, and we’re being used like pawns. Three months after Charlie Kirk’s death, people are still fighting for control of the coalition he built. This is exactly what his killer and all who support him want.

We must have strong alliances if the conservative movement is going to win. For us to proclaim that Christ is King of America, we need coalitions that can actually get the work done. But purity spirals make that impossible.

So what are the actual biblical boundaries?

Well to start, we cannot kick people out of our churches because they think that the moon landing isn’t real, that the COVID vaccine is actually effective, or even if they believe the numbers were fudged in WWII. None of those are biblical reasons for discipline.

But politics are different, right? So should we be more strict in politics than in religion? I don’t think so. In church, we’re pursuing theological truth and spiritual formation. In politics, we’re building coalitions for cultural change. Different purposes require different boundaries and if anything, political coalitions should have broader boundaries than church membership and fellowship, not narrower ones. Politics is less imporant than religion after all.

So what are the proper political bounds? I want a Christian nation with freedom of conscience and federalist framing. So to anyone who wants to make America better... within those bounds, I say welcome.

The question cannot be “Do you agree with me on every issue?” The question must be “Are you building a nation that aligns with a generally orthodox Christian nation?”

Debate is good. Iron sharpens iron. And once we win I say we can file down some edges. But we cannot let debate before victory turn into purity spirals that fracture the coalition and leave us vulnerable.

Will you work to build coalitions with those who share our essential goals, even when we disagree on tactics and strategy? Will you distinguish between biblical boundaries, personal preferences, and political propriety? I know I’m gonna do my best.

God bless.

I love you all, and Happy New Year.

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“The rejection of the flesh is the rejection of Christ. Believe the resurrection of the flesh; for the whole work of salvation depends upon it. With it Christ was born; with it He was baptized; with it He was tempted; with it He was crucified; with it He was buried; with it He rose again. He showed that same flesh to His disciples, so that they might believe. With it He ascended into heaven, and with it He sits at the right hand of the Father. It is this flesh which is the pledge of salvation.”
-Tertullian

Over the past couple of months, I have talked about many physical distinctions and how we should indeed keep them distinct. Ironically, that thesis leads to today’s post that, on first glance, flips things on its head a bit.

Not all distinctions are meant to be divisive. In fact, every distinction we’ve looked at so far works rightly only when it operates in harmony with the others. Leaders and followers are distinct but not opposed. Men and women fit together by design. The same is true for body and soul. When we keep them in their proper relationship, we reflect God's wisdom. But when we tear them apart, elevating the soul and neglecting the body, we don’t just lose balance, we invite heresy.

Gnosticism is an ancient Christian heresy that says not only is the physical not yet perfected, but it’s actively evil. This heresy had a few different flavors, but the most extreme ended up reversing Christian theology by claiming that the Creator God of Genesis was actually an evil, ignorant being, a false god who trapped divine sparks inside physical bodies. According to these Gnostics, salvation didn’t come through Christ’s atoning death and bodily resurrection, but through secret knowledge that awakened the divine self and allowed escape from the material world. The incarnation was dismissed as a trick, the crucifixion was meaningless or faked, and the resurrection was spiritual only. In their view, Jesus didn’t come in the flesh to redeem it. He came to help the enlightened abandon it altogether.

It’s incredible how such a small idea, that the spirit is more holy than the body, can create such an obviously dramatic heresy, isn’t it? Yet what happens when the church and culture take in that idea more subtly? Let’s dive in.

We tend to think ancient heresies stay buried in ancient times. But Gnosticism didn’t disappear. Today, its core idea shows up everywhere in secular culture: the belief that the body is a problem to overcome and that the “real you” is something internal, emotional, and detached from physical reality. Simultaneously, the culture insists that our physical bodies must be reshaped to match our inner perception. This is transgenderism. Instead, we should recognize that the true versions of both body and soul were designed to work in harmony when properly ordered.

We know the culture embraces Gnosticism by denying the body, but the modern evangelical church often does the same through pietism. We don’t openly reject the body; we simply act like it’s irrelevant. Faith becomes a feeling. Obedience becomes emotional sincerity rather than embodied spiritual discipline. In pietistic Christianity, devotion is measured by how deeply you feel during a worship song, not how faithfully you steward your time, health, or household. It's a spiritualized apathy dressed up as holiness. It leaves the body untended, undisciplined, and seemingly unimportant.

Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body.
- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (CSB)

In many churches, we are happy to call out sin in culture, which is good, but we are slow to call out sin in our midst. We rarely address the quiet sins of the body, especially the loss of self-control. And one of the most obvious examples of a lack of self-control is gluttony. It isn’t just about food; it’s about failing to steward our bodies through discipline and restraint. This has many spiritual consequences, but one of the clearest and most visible is how it distorts the physical distinctions between men and women.

Gluttony is far from the only type of sin of this type, but it is a clear example that is rarely dealt with. Yet it is quite clear indeed. Christians are called to treat their bodies as temples. Our gendered existence is a wonderful distinction, but obesity squashes those beautiful differences.

The first way obesity obscures proper distinctions is simply in the physical representation. Male and female distinctions are obscured behind layers of fat, the evidence of sin for all to see. Everyone starts to look the same, because everyone starts to look like a circle. Shoulders, waists, hips, and faces blur into one softened silhouette, until what was once obvious must now be guessed. And this layer of sin does more to the body than simply androgenize the silhouette. It causes drastic changes to the hormone production of both genders that make this transformation even more extreme.

In men, excess body fat leads to increased aromatase activity. Aromatase is the enzyme that converts testosterone into estrogen. As body fat increases, testosterone levels drop and estrogen rises. Yes. Estrogen. This hormonal shift leads to reduced muscle mass, breast tissue development, lower energy, and weakened libido. The male form softens, and so does the strength, drive, and edge that accompany healthy masculinity. What begins as unchecked appetite ends in a body that, aside from what hangs between their legs, no longer bears the clear mark of manhood.

In women, obesity often leads to insulin resistance. This is not only a precursor to type 2 diabetes, but also triggers the body to produce more androgens, which are male hormones like testosterone. These hormonal imbalances can cause irregular cycles, facial hair…. Yes… and masculinized fat distribution. Even when not visibly pronounced, the underlying shift is real. The female form thickens and coarsens, often losing its natural grace that announces feminine beauty and design. The result is not just physical change, it’s hormonal confusion that blurs the distinctions God built into womanhood.

What we’re seeing is more than poor health. It’s not just the loss of fitness or aesthetics; it’s the quiet erosion of our God given identity. The body, once a visible testimony to the glory of His design, is reduced to a blurred echo of its former purpose. It no longer speaks clearly. What God meant to be seen at a glance becomes something that must be guessed.

In that way, obesity is just transgenderism-lite. It isn’t driven by ideology, but it produces the same results: a body out of harmony with its design, and a person increasingly detached from the distinctions God created.

Obesity isn’t the only thing that distorts personhood, and even hormones specifically, in this way. Disorders like anorexia and bulimia do the same, not through excess, but through denial. These are not merely medical or psychological issues; they are spiritual at the root, distorted views of the body and the self that reject God’s truth in favor of fear, shame, or control. The hormonal effects are just as real, though. Estrogen and testosterone drop, reducing reproductive functions. Curves vanish, muscle disappears, and sexed identity is chemically erased. One path tries to indulge the body into comfort, the other tries to starve it into submission. Both blur the distinctions God called good.

What lies behind both paths, indulgence and deprivation, is not just weakness or confusion, but all-out war. Satan has always hated the image of God, and that image is not merely spiritual. It is embodied. It is visible. It is male and female. When Satan cannot erase the image directly, he works to distort it with chaos. Whether through gluttony or starvation, passivity or obsession, he doesn't care. So long as we forget what we were made to be, his mission succeeds.

Therefore God delivered them over in the desires of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded among themselves. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served what has been created instead of the Creator, who is praised forever. Amen.
- Romans 1:24–25 (CSB)

And so, Christ came in the flesh for a reason. He rose physically because the physical is indeed good. He did not forsake the gift of food and friendship after he rose but rather sat and ate with his followers to show us the importance of our bodies and the future of the physical. A new body both like and unlike anything we see here.

And in a similar fashion, we too will rise. Christ’s scars were visible in his glorified body. Will our scars, the ones that bring God glory, be visible too? I think it’s prideful to assume not. But just as we must not sin for the sake of abounding grace, we must not scar ourselves for abounding glory.

This is our ultimate hope. Not of escape but resurrection. Our physical body is not rejected but glorified in Christ. The scars that remain will not be monuments to sin, but testimonies of grace. Our bodies are not temporary housing for a holier soul; they are part of God’s original design, meant to glorify Him, not despite our physicality, but through it. The more we distort it now, the more we forget that glory it is meant to carry, but the more we honor it in faith and discipline, the more clearly we reflect Christ in us.

So let us live like someone who will rise.
Our future is embodied. Our obedience should be too.
In design, reverence; in discipline, faithfulness; in all things, glory to God.

“Our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly wait for a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. He will transform the body of our humble condition into the likeness of his glorious body, by the power that enables him to subject everything to himself.”
- Philippians 3:20–21 (CSB)

Like many once-virtuous ideals, this has been distorted. What was once a symbol of principled strength has been romanticized into the lone wolf. A man untethered from all responsibility except to himself. The ethos that helped build families, towns, and our civilization has shifted. Today, we praise autonomy over accountability. We idolize freedom from obligation rather than competency and purpose. This must change. For the good of our communities, Christian and American, we must once again find purpose in our time and place and bring it under our sway for the sake of Christ. The question is, what is your place in this purpose?

We’ve spent the last three posts exploring the foundational distinctions of gender and marriage, how God made men and women different by design, and how that design plays out in covenantal relationships. But those distinctions don’t stop at the individual or household level. They extend from the spiritual into the political and ecclesiastical. The order God has ordained begins in the heavens, so as we look at how we might do God’s will on earth, let’s look at what the hierarchy of the heavens may have to show us.

As I kept watching, thrones were set in place, and the Ancient of Days took his seat.
His clothing was white like snow, and the hair of his head like whitest wool.
His throne was flaming fire; its wheels were blazing fire.
A river of fire was flowing, coming out from his presence.
Thousands upon thousands served him; ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him.
The court was convened, and the books were opened.
- Daniel 7:9–10 (CSB)

This passage shows God in a way most people don’t usually think of. The dramatic imagery of fire, a throne, or even a river of fire may feel familiar or expected. But two striking details emerge if you look closely at the first and last sentences: God’s throne is not alone. It’s set among other thrones, and the books are opened the moment He takes His seat, and His court convenes. He presides over a structured gathering. This is not the chaos of disorder but rather a neatly designed council of law and order. And this pattern isn’t isolated. We see it again in the opening chapters of Job, where “the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord.” Even the accuser is summoned into God's courtroom. He does not come uninvited. He arrives when called to give an account. This is not allegory. It’s not an embellished vision or spiritual poetry. It’s a glimpse behind the veil, a heavenly courtroom more real than any on earth. We recognize it as mythic not because it’s false (it’s not) but because it echoes with the weight and wonder that all good stories long to imitate.

These echoes don’t end with the council convening, though. It continues on in judgment. And not just judgment of humanity. God judges the bene elohim, the “sons of God,” spiritual entities appointed to rule and render justice. “God stands in the divine assembly,” the Psalm says, “he pronounces judgment among the gods” (Psalm 82:1, CSB). These are not stone idols or human princes in metaphor. They are real beings entrusted with real authority; they have ruled unjustly, so God judges them as unfit.

If the “sons of God” are held accountable for how they wield power, how much more should we take seriously the duties we are given? God’s structure doesn’t stop at the gates of heaven. He ordains order on earth as well. Scripture is not vague on this issue. From the very beginning, we see clear distinctions in leadership and responsibility. Distinctions that flow from God's own character as a God of order, not confusion.

We saw this start in Eden when Adam was given responsibility for the garden, the animals, and his beloved helper, Eve. Their failures didn’t relieve them of the burden of duty but clarified it further as God pronounced His judgment on each of them. These distinctions of leadership continue throughout the Bible, as Moses sets up a group of judges in Exodus 18 to deal with minor matters so he can handle the more serious ones.

Another idea we have already discussed is marriage as the foundation for a well-ordered society. This is reaffirmed in Ephesians 5 when Paul tells men to be good leaders and wives to submit to that leadership.

In the church, elders are told to watch over the flock, whereas, in Hebrews 13, the people of the church are told to “Obey your leaders and submit to them, since they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account.” This isn’t a gender-specific command, but one that is demanded of all Christians, both male and female. However, that process may look different for married women than for married men since women are told to seek their husband’s wisdom in 1 Corinthians 14.

The structure of leadership and submission is even seen in the civil sphere. When Israel demanded a king, God gave them one, but not without warning. He didn’t say that a king’s demands were inherently sinful but that they would be burdensome. Even so, earthly rulers are accountable for how they wield their power and will be judged accordingly.

When the righteous flourish, the people rejoice,
but when the wicked rule, people groan.
- Proverbs 29:2 (CSB)

The absence of leadership doesn’t solve the problem of bad leadership. It only makes things worse. Scripture warns us about the damage caused by wicked rulers but also shows us what happens when no one takes responsibility. When those called to lead refuse to act, and those under authority reject order altogether, the result is not peace but confusion.

In Judges 21, we are given a haunting statement: “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did whatever seemed right to him.” This wasn’t freedom. It was anarchy. The book of Judges is a record of a nation in constant spiritual and social collapse: tribal violence, idolatry, civil war, and moral decay. The common thread? No one was leading. A vacuum of leadership doesn’t remain empty for long. It is quickly filled by disorder, compromise, or tyranny.

History confirms what Scripture makes clear. We’ve seen the same pattern repeated around the world. In the early 1990s, Zaire fell into violent mutiny, and the state collapsed. Zimbabwe, once known as Rhodesia, crumbled after the fall of its leadership structures, leaving behind political instability and deep economic wounds. In both nations, the absence of strong, accountable leadership didn’t result in freedom but in ruin.

And America is not immune. The 2021 withdrawal from Afghanistan revealed how quickly order can collapse when leadership fails. The scenes from Kabul were horrifying. Citizens clinging to planes. Desperate families trapped. Chaos overtook the airport. American citizens and allies died. These were not just the signs of a military failure. They were the visible effects of leadership that lacked clarity, decisiveness, and resolve. The cost of such weakness was immeasurable.

When leaders abdicate and when people reject structure, things fall apart. Weakness doesn’t preserve peace. It invites confusion and leaves someone else to pick up the pieces, whether through desperate improvisation or oppressive control.

At home, we see the consequences of abandoned duty most clearly in the family. The collapse of the family is a heinous thing, led (as is expected) by the failure of men as husbands and fathers. Fatherless homes have skyrocketed, driven not only by personal sin but by a society that rewards dysfunction: no-fault divorce laws, financial incentives for single motherhood, and a culture that treats fathers as optional at best and dangerous at worst. Responsibility is undermined, and passivity is encouraged.

The cost is staggering. Children without present, engaged fathers are far more likely to experience poverty, fall behind in school, commit crimes, and lack spiritual grounding. Though unpopular to admit, studies consistently show that children often fare better in single-father homes than in single-mother homes. A home without male headship isn’t just incomplete; it’s unstable. And the wound it leaves echoes for generations.

The same principle holds true in the church. When leadership is absent or abdicated, the church does not become more free; it becomes more fragile. Scripture commands elders to shepherd the flock and calls believers to submit to their leadership.

In many churches today, the idea of authority has been so distorted by personal autonomy and cultural pressure that few lead with clarity, and almost no one follows with conviction. Doctrine is softened to avoid offense, decisions are made by marketing teams instead of elders, and the pulpit becomes a place for performance instead of truth. Many evangelical churches hesitate to speak boldly on anything that might cost them attendance. But shepherding without clarity is not care. It is neglect.

This is especially evident in congregational churches, where final authority rests with the congregation itself. I believe this is the best model of church governance, rooted in the Protestant conviction of the priesthood of every believer. But it assumes maturity, spiritual discernment, biblical literacy, and a willingness to submit to the Word of God. When those qualities are lacking, congregationalism becomes unstable and vulnerable to the spirit of the age.

Churches flourish when strong pastors lead with courage and when congregants follow faithfully. Not blindly, but with discernment and trust. A congregation that resists all leadership will eventually unravel. And a pastor who refuses to lead out of fear will leave his people exposed.

This societal decay has become pervasive in all areas of life; family, church, community, and politics. And yet, not all is lost. Something will rise from the ashes of leaderless homes, compromised churches, and crumbling institutions. When duty has been cast off, and disorder runs its course, men will rise to help reset the culture. These men will not be perfect. They may not even be polished. And they will surely bleed from the same types of wounds that weak men refused to bear. These men are husbands who reject passivity, fathers who return home, pastors who stop pandering, and statesmen who do not flinch. Their strength is in their willingness to carry the weight that others have laid down.

We’ve seen glimpses of this kind of man in our time. For all his flaws, or in some ways maybe because of them, on the fateful day when he was shot, Donald Trump captured something that had been lost in the American imagination. He has the instinct to protect what is his, the boldness to say what others only think, and true bravery under fire of any sort. He isn’t refined, but he is willing. In a world addicted to image and allergic to conviction, his confidence is shaking the world. Let us pray this upheaval leads to a society that respects the bible again and people that seek to take dominion over their spheres of influence for the sake of bringing glory to God.

It’s no coincidence that Trump has teamed up with one of the most visionary men of our time. Elon Musk is not a moral compass, but he is a pioneer. He has revived something Americans had nearly forgotten. The urge to build, reach, and push the frontier. He reminds us that there is still land to take, dominion to exercise, and boundaries to expand.

Isn’t it sad that the inspiring men of our time are not Christians? Why don’t we have men as strong as Elon and Trump, who are also moral leaders and followers of Christ? Men who would not only defy the spirit of the age and build something grand but would point others to Christ while doing it. Even so, I will gladly take hold of this moment of reprieve that God has granted us with a second Trump term and the vision that someone like Musk casts into the American imagination. We truly do stand on the brink of another new frontier.

New frontiers will require a new kind of cowboy. Not the romanticized lone wolf, but men and women embracing their responsibilities joyfully even in the face of hardship. Men who will lead their wives well. Women who will support their husbands as they raise families in places so foreign that their descendants may one day be called Martians.

Because make no mistake, unless Jesus returns first, that frontier is coming. People will one day land on Mars and begin colonizing it. The question is, will they be godly? Will they be the kind of people who represent the kingdom of God and extend His order into places previously untouched by humanity?

What does that leave for the rest of us in the here and now? It leaves everything. Before God grants men new domains, He calls them to be faithful in the ones they already have. It begins now. In your home. In your church. In your neighborhood. It starts by rejecting passivity and stepping forward. Not with arrogance but strength. Not for self-glory but for the glory of God.

So, take up your tools. Build, lead, protect. Don’t wait for perfection, don’t wait for permission. The work is already yours.

David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LordGod, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished. The divisions of the priests and Levites are ready for all the work on the temple of God, and every willing person skilled in any craft will help you in all the work. The officials and all the people will obey your every command.”
- 1 Chronicles 28:20-21 (CSB)

Matt shrugged, struggling to put his unease into words. He loved his wife and children, and his role was to protect them. But this time, there isn't an apparent reason for his feelings. He liked the girls their daughter would be with, and he enjoyed chatting with the parents who were hosting. Still, something felt off.

"I don't know, hun," he said finally. "I'd just rather err on the side of caution. Maybe next time, but for now, I think we should say no."

Claire's expression darkened at his words. "And I think we should say yes. She needs to go and be with her friends without you being so overprotective!"

And just like that, a simple discussion becomes a battleground. Neither of them is backing down, and there’s no clear way forward. This is what equality looks like in practice. Equal authority means there is no actual authority. It leads to stalemates and, eventually, one person grudgingly gives in.

Egalitarianism, in the context of marriage, asserts that husbands and wives should function as equal partners, with no distinction in leadership, authority, or responsibility.

Egalitarianism doesn’t prevent abuse; it creates the perfect conditions for it to flourish. Domineering men subjugate egalitarian women, while contentious women undermine egalitarian men.

The inevitable result? Feminism or abusive patriarchy.

Ironic, isn’t it? A system designed to prevent power imbalances ensures that whoever is most stubborn, forceful, or emotionally relentless takes control.

In the garden, God saw that all but one thing was good. Man was without a helper of like kind, and this needed to be remedied. So God brought all the wild animals of the earth and sky for Adam to name them. Yet even among all that wonder and beauty, no helper was found for him.

In His mercy, God caused Adam to sleep and fashioned a woman from his rib. When he woke, he saw his “ezer kenegdo,” his helper, perfectly fit for him.

Forgive my editorializing here, but I can’t help but imagine that moment. Adam awoke to see the Father offering his daughter to him. His jaw must have dropped as he fell deeply in love with her. He called her woman because he recognized her as being of the same kind with a wonderfully different form, a form best suited to help him and the mission she was joining him in.

For a time, Adam and Eve lived in harmony with God and all creation. But then Eve was deceived. She saw something pretty, something that would taste good and satisfy both her hunger for food and knowledge.

Meanwhile, Adam stood by.

He didn't call her back to him. He didn’t remind her of what God actually said. He didn’t tell her no. Instead of being the leader, he became the follower. Adam had not been deceived; he knew the truth and willfully sinned. He chose to follow his wife instead of obeying God.

Adam failed to lead when his wife needed him most. He chose passivity over confrontation, and because of that, humanity fell. Even as the curse of sin promised relational strife, God’s plan for marriage stayed the same.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.
In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of his body.
— Ephesians 5:22-30 (CSB)

God’s design for marriage is made clear throughout the Bible. Husbands are called to lead with sacrificial love, and wives are called to support their husbands through submission. This is not about control for the sake of control but is put in place for the sake of order and the flourishing of the family.

The world hates this design. The world tells us that authority is abuse and that all must be seen as the same. But our God is not a god of chaos but of order. That order demands a leader.

Satan has his claws in the world, and his plan is to ruin distinctions. He wants to erase the differences that bring harmony and purpose.

“And when everyone is super… no one will be.”
— Syndrome from “The Incredibles”

If everyone were the same, no one would be unique, and the world would be a sad, colorless place. If everyone is in charge, no one is in charge. If everyone leads, no one follows, and a marriage without leadership will collapse into chaos. The world’s definition of equality is not good. It is meaningless, and meaningless things don’t build lasting legacies.

Men were built to provide and protect their families. Women were designed to comfort and nourish what the husband provides. If these roles and purposes fall apart, the family falls apart.

This is the lesson of the very first marriage. Adam knew what was right and still sinned by following his wife’s lead instead of leading her in righteousness. He did not take dominion. He did not act decisively. If only he had stood up instead of standing by, he could have changed the course of history. His failure was not in doing too much but in doing too little.

Although a man may not openly rebel against God’s design, his passivity is no less destructive. This man refuses to lead. He avoids making decisions, lets his wife take control, and justifies it all as keeping the peace. In reality, he is choosing comfort over responsibility. He is weak and disengaged not because he actively harms his marriage but because his failure to act is itself a sin.

"So it is sin to know the good and yet not do it."
— James 4:17 (CSB)

His wife may not step into leadership out of ambition but necessity. She carries burdens he was meant to bear. At first, she may excuse his passivity, hoping he will eventually take his role seriously. But over time, she loses respect for him, creating a cycle of resentment. She feels abandoned. He becomes apathetic. The marriage drifts, leaderless, without direction or strength.

But many times, passivity isn’t the root. Often, it’s the result. It’s the result of a good man being worn down by a contentious woman. A woman may not mean to dominate her husband; maybe she’s particularly strong-willed, and her husband is easygoing. There’s a myriad of ways this may play out, but in all of them, purposeful or not, the woman challenges or second-guesses him and tries to take control whenever disagreements arise. She sees his easygoing spirit as passive; instead of trying to encourage him to greater heights, she tramples over him. I have seen this play out time and time again.

"Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife."
— Proverbs 21:9 (CSB)

At first, a man may push back, but in his heart, he wants his home to be a place of peace, not conflict. He tells himself that keeping quiet is better than another argument, that letting her have her way will make things easier. He convinces himself that if he just goes along with things, the tension will disappear.

“Happy wife, happy life, am I right?” He chuckles along with his friends, but inside, he is crushed. Meanwhile, at home, he stops giving voice to his opinion, and he stops making decisions. He stops leading because he is met with criticism and resistance every time he tries. It doesn’t seem to be worth the trouble.

At first, she may feel relieved. The fights are done. She can finally just have her way. But soon, relief turns to resentment. She begins to complain that he doesn’t do enough. She loses respect for the man she once claimed to admire. She needs him to be strong, but now that she has broken him, she cannot find pity for his weakness. All she has left is contempt.

The home is leaderless, the marriage exhausted, and both are acting in ways that make the situation worse.

But not every woman is contentious in this way. Some women don’t nag and override their husbands; they simply reject the idea that he has any authority over them at all.

An endless dripping on a rainy day and a nagging wife are alike. The one who controls her controls the wind and grasps oil with his right hand.
— Proverbs 27:15-16 (CSB)

Sometimes, a rebellious wife doesn’t just resist her husband; she outright refuses to follow him as he leads. She doesn't trust his decisions. Maybe she’s afraid he’s making decisions out of anger or selfishness. No matter the reason, she doesn't value his role as head of the home. She sees herself as his equal (read: better) and believes she should be in charge.

This plays out much like the last situation. The husband may push back early on. He may try to establish leadership in the marriage, but if she doesn’t get her way, she manipulates (no sex, I’m not in the mood), argues (that’s not what my dad would do), and disrespects him outright (well, that’s stupid). She prides herself on her independence and outspokenness, thinking submission is a weakness. What she doesn’t realize is that her rebellion, once again, creates a household of chaos.

A wife like this either creates a weak husband or a cruel one. If her husband is easygoing, he will become passive. If her husband is strong-willed, he may become hardened against her. This is one of the ways a tyrannical man is born. Some men start out this way, but even a good, strong man may become harsh if disrespected and challenged at every turn.

When the righteous flourish, the people rejoice, but when the wicked rule, the people groan.
— Proverbs 29:2 (CSB)

A wife in need of security may tolerate tyranny for a time. She finally got what she wanted. She tested him and got him to step up. But it wasn’t in the way she imagined. Over time, she will find herself longing for a gentler husband. Not a weak husband but rather one who knows and cultivates his own strength as well as his control so that he can genuinely treat her as the weaker but precious vessel she is.

A wife is a weaker vessel, but that does not mean she is fragile or useless. She is a priceless gift meant to be cherished like your own body. Like a beautiful vase, she is intended to be handled with care. She should be protected and honored. For that to happen, both husband and wife must embrace their God-given roles.

Women. You were not made to bear the weight of leadership in your home. You were not created to fight for control or to compete with your husband for authority. You were designed to support, nurture, and trust. You must embrace this grand purpose God has given you.

If you push your husband down, he will become passive or rise up in harshness. If you refuse to follow, he may stop leading altogether. At the end of that path lies destruction.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
— Ephesians 5:22 (CSB)

Submission is not weakness; it is wisdom and strength acted out in faith. It is not oppression but the means by which order and peace enter the home and allow it to flourish. Honor your husband’s leadership, and if you chose well, he will joyfully rise to meet the occasion.

Men. You must step up to this challenge. Your wife is not built to carry your burdens. She is not made to be unprotected because you have become weak or unsafe because you have become a tyrant. You were made to lead her, love her, protect her, and honor her. Bearing this responsibility is a heavy load. But God created you to be different. You were designed to thrive under the pressure that only sacrifice can bring. Sacrifice your comfort now and cultivate strength and control so that you can treat her as you should.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.
— Ephesians 5:25 (CSB)

Your wife will reflect the man you choose to be. If you are weak, she will feel unprotected. If you are harsh, she will shrink under your cruelty. If you are passive, she will be forced to take up burdens she was never meant to carry.

But if you lead with strength and love, she will flourish under your care.

The world rejects this truth, but the world is full of broken families.

Be different. Be strong. Be the man God has called you to be.

After she turned sixteen and was happily going by a fake name, she was in school when a teacher began talking about breastfeeding. Chloe mentions this moment in many of her interviews, which is a turning point for her. She felt a pang of regret that she would never be able to feed and care for her baby in that way... but why would she regret that? She's a boy, right?

Slowly, she starts to detransition because no matter how much she tries to convince herself otherwise, she is not a boy.

Today, Chloe Cole hopes to marry and have children someday but knows the puberty blockers she took from the age of thirteen may have made conception impossible. Even if she is able to conceive, she will never be able to provide for or comfort her children through breastfeeding. Watch her interviews, and you will see this chokes her up. And rightfully so. Her story is a warning. She believed the lie that gender was malleable, that our physical form has little to no impact on who we indeed are. She thought that her opinion of her purpose and identity was more important than who God made her to be. Chloe's scars are a visceral example of what happens when we reject gender distinctions in favor of fluid depravity.

Chloe now fights the very movement that convinced her to reject her own body. Praise God, our culture seems to be pushing back against this insanity. If we want that to continue, we must know the truth.

So God created man in his own image;
he created him in the image of God;
he created them male and female.

—Genesis 1:27 (CSB)

This verse in the very first chapter of the Bible sets us up for a clear understanding of reality. There is no spectrum; there are no alternatives. You are either male or female. As we go through the Bible, we see these identities expanded on, and the roles clarified, but I would go so far as to say it's not only possible but is simple to intuit purpose from merely looking at each other. 

I believe this happened when Adam first saw Eve after God created her. In chapter two of Genesis, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him". When Adam woke and saw Eve for the first time, he said, "This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called "woman," for she was taken from man." He saw and knew what she was. She wasn't simply another animal. She was meant to be his helper as he tended and guarded the garden.

The first two chapters of the Bible give us a clear and undeniable foundation for gender distinctions. They don't go into exhaustive detail about what makes men and women different because it's self-evident. It's so obvious that we don't need divine revelation to see the truth of gendered reality. Nature itself tells the same story. The differences between men and women are not just social constructs but biological, psychological, and emotional realities that shape all humanity. Even if one rejects scripture, you should be hard-pressed to reject the evidence of nature itself.

The physical expression of male and female is straightforward unless it's obscured by genetic disorders, deliberate deception, or androgynizing effects such as obesity. The physical differences between men and women go far beyond our appearances. On average, men have at least 60% more muscle mass than women; we have greater upper body strength and denser bones. Women, on the other hand, have a higher percentage of body fat, greater pain tolerance, and are more flexible. Even at the skeletal level, men have larger skulls, broader shoulders, and longer limbs, while women have wider hips and a more flexible pelvis. These differences affect movement, posture, and biomechanics. The differences are so distinct that scientists can determine whether a skeleton belonged to a male or female with more than 95% accuracy. These differences are not a social construct but biological fact.

The differences between men and women extend beyond the physical and into the mental and emotional (though both are determined by the physical as well). Men are more risk-tolerant, competitive, and singularly focused. Women, on the other hand, are more relational, empathetic, and emotionally intuitive. Studies show men excel in spatial reasoning and working out problems under pressure. On the other hand, women outperform men in verbal communication, social bonding, and emotional intelligence. These differences push men towards leadership and women towards being nurturers. Men's higher testosterone levels drive assertiveness and aggression, while women's higher oxytocin and estrogen levels promote social cohesion. Even in childhood, boys gravitate towards competitive play, where clear rules are used. Girls tend to engage in cooperative or relational activities. These differences may be cultivated or discouraged based on their parent's proclivities but are not simply learned behavior. They are ingrained in who God made us to be. When men and women embrace their natural strengths, families and communities thrive. But when we reject reality in favor of weakness and confusion, society collapses.

When gender distinctions are erased, the results are predictable: confusion, disorder, and brokenness. Young men drift aimlessly without purpose, rejecting responsibility and leadership. Young women are pressured to deny their natural femininity in pursuit of masculine ambition, leaving them exhausted and unfulfilled. Relationships suffer as men and women, rather than complementing one another, fall into an ongoing struggle for control, a struggle that has existed since the fall. What begins as a rejection of roles soon becomes a rejection of truth. A society that rejects gender distinctions ends up rejecting reality itself. 

“Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who substitute darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who substitute bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter.”

—Isaiah 5:20 (CSB)

We live in a world where many ignore this command from Isaiah. Distinctions are blurred, truth is inverted, and God's design is labeled oppressive. What is natural is now seen as restrictive. But rejecting reality does not make it disappear. The distinctions between men and women are not arbitrary. These distinctions are gifts to help us navigate this confusing world.

When women embrace their natural gift of nurturing, they cultivate life and community. When men embrace strength and leadership, they provide the protection that allows women's gifts to flourish. These roles are not oppressive; they are essential. The world may rebel against these truths, but that rebellion does not change what is real. Nature will always bear witness to God's design.

Embracing biblical manhood and womanhood is not about conforming to cultural stereotypes. It's about accepting the reality of who we were created to be. Men and women each carry unique strengths that complement, rather than compete with, one another. When we honor these distinctions, families thrive, communities are strengthened, and societies are built on a firm foundation.

Because these distinctions are foundational, they will shape not just individual identity but the most fundamental human relationship. Marriage. These distinctions are most powerfully displayed in that God-ordained covenant, which is why the war against gender roles is most fiercely fought by attacking marriage. In the next post, we will explore how these differences play out in marriage and why embracing them leads to strength rather than division.

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"He spoke, and a vision was shown to them, and they saw a new World made visible before them, and it was globed amid the Void, and it was sustained therein, but was not of it. And as they looked and wondered, this World began to unfold its history, and it seemed to them that it lived and grew."
— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion

This quote from “The Silmarillion” evokes the sense of wonder the angels must have felt as they watched God create our world. He divided and determined then filled his creation with purpose. Since that time humanity has warred against God’s design and the angels of darkness have eagerly aided our rebellions.

Never before has this rejection of purpose been so clear. We are told that gender is a spectrum—yet, somehow, distinct from sexuality, which is also a spectrum. Reality itself is denied in favor of fluidity, confusion, and contradiction. This seems less like a spectrum and more like a slippery slope to me.

This post is the first in a series I’m calling “The Goodness of Distinctions.” Throughout this series, I will explore both the obvious and the subtle distinctions God has established that both atheists and modern Christians now resist. I will also discuss how we can fight to restore these good and righteous distinctions in our own lives and the world around us.

To do that we need to go back to the very beginning. We have to go back to the moment God brought the world into existence and ordered it for his glory.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness covered the surface of the watery depths, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.”
— Genesis 1:1-2 CSB

At first creation was formless. Void of light and purpose. God spoke and turned the void into a bustling place full of beauty and meaning. The creation account follows a clear pattern of separating, naming and filling. This is what God does. He separates the land and sky, fills it with plants and animals and gives them a purpose through their created form.

A bird is not simply “a creature that happens to fly”. A bird is a creature designed to fly, and this purpose can easily be seen by its form. Its hollow bones, wings and very shape testify it’s purpose. A fish is not simply an animal that lives in the water. It is a creature built for it with gills to breathe and fins to move.

Humanity is no different.

“Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.”

So God created man
in his own image;
he created him in the image of God;
he created them male and female.”
— Genesis 1:26-27 CSB

Man is not simply a soul trapped within a physical form. We are both body and spirit. Formed of the dust, given life through the breath of God. Our physicality indicates, at least part of, our purpose.

When God creates something, He gives it a form that allows it to fulfill God’s will. Like a tree is meant to bear fruit, a lion hunts, and rivers flow within their bounds, both men and women are created with distinct roles.

Yet today, we are told that form has no meaning. We are told that our bodies do not reveal anything about who we are or what we are meant to do. Instead, we are encouraged to mold ourselves into whatever we desire, untethered from nature, reality, or truth.

God’s design is not arbitrary. It is not a prison, though many seem to think it is. Instead of being an obstacle, our design is a blessing. The distinctions between men and women are not flaws to overcome but rather gifts that allow us to live as He intends.

Rejecting God’s order does not lead to freedom. It leads to confusion, disorder, and ultimately destruction. But when we embrace what He has made, when we accept the purpose given to us through our form, we align ourselves with what is right, and true. And that is very good.

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good indeed. Evening came and then morning: the sixth day.”
— Genesis 1:31 CSB

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