The Goodness of Distinctions: Rediscovering Gender

Why male and female are good and necessary realities.

Chloe, a self-described 'suspiciously photogenic' teen, bears the physical scars of her journey at just fifteen. She gazes at her reflection, trying to reassure herself that her body, now resembling 'a warzone' after a double mastectomy, is acceptable. It's 2020, and Chloe confidently moves around her home shirtless, much like any boy would in the summer heat. This is the culmination of a journey that began when she was nine, guided and prodded by her psychologist and pediatrician. Finally, she can live as the boy she's always known herself to be.

After she turned sixteen and was happily going by a fake name, she was in school when a teacher began talking about breastfeeding. Chloe mentions this moment in many of her interviews, which is a turning point for her. She felt a pang of regret that she would never be able to feed and care for her baby in that way... but why would she regret that? She's a boy, right?

Slowly, she starts to detransition because no matter how much she tries to convince herself otherwise, she is not a boy.

Today, Chloe Cole hopes to marry and have children someday but knows the puberty blockers she took from the age of thirteen may have made conception impossible. Even if she is able to conceive, she will never be able to provide for or comfort her children through breastfeeding. Watch her interviews, and you will see this chokes her up. And rightfully so. Her story is a warning. She believed the lie that gender was malleable, that our physical form has little to no impact on who we indeed are. She thought that her opinion of her purpose and identity was more important than who God made her to be. Chloe's scars are a visceral example of what happens when we reject gender distinctions in favor of fluid depravity.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Chloe now fights the very movement that convinced her to reject her own body. Praise God, our culture seems to be pushing back against this insanity. If we want that to continue, we must know the truth.

So God created man in his own image;
he created him in the image of God;
he created them male and female.

—Genesis 1:27 (CSB)

This verse in the very first chapter of the Bible sets us up for a clear understanding of reality. There is no spectrum; there are no alternatives. You are either male or female. As we go through the Bible, we see these identities expanded on, and the roles clarified, but I would go so far as to say it's not only possible but is simple to intuit purpose from merely looking at each other. 

I believe this happened when Adam first saw Eve after God created her. In chapter two of Genesis, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him". When Adam woke and saw Eve for the first time, he said, "This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called "woman," for she was taken from man." He saw and knew what she was. She wasn't simply another animal. She was meant to be his helper as he tended and guarded the garden.

The first two chapters of the Bible give us a clear and undeniable foundation for gender distinctions. They don't go into exhaustive detail about what makes men and women different because it's self-evident. It's so obvious that we don't need divine revelation to see the truth of gendered reality. Nature itself tells the same story. The differences between men and women are not just social constructs but biological, psychological, and emotional realities that shape all humanity. Even if one rejects scripture, you should be hard-pressed to reject the evidence of nature itself.

The physical expression of male and female is straightforward unless it's obscured by genetic disorders, deliberate deception, or androgynizing effects such as obesity. The physical differences between men and women go far beyond our appearances. On average, men have at least 60% more muscle mass than women; we have greater upper body strength and denser bones. Women, on the other hand, have a higher percentage of body fat, greater pain tolerance, and are more flexible. Even at the skeletal level, men have larger skulls, broader shoulders, and longer limbs, while women have wider hips and a more flexible pelvis. These differences affect movement, posture, and biomechanics. The differences are so distinct that scientists can determine whether a skeleton belonged to a male or female with more than 95% accuracy. These differences are not a social construct but biological fact.

The differences between men and women extend beyond the physical and into the mental and emotional (though both are determined by the physical as well). Men are more risk-tolerant, competitive, and singularly focused. Women, on the other hand, are more relational, empathetic, and emotionally intuitive. Studies show men excel in spatial reasoning and working out problems under pressure. On the other hand, women outperform men in verbal communication, social bonding, and emotional intelligence. These differences push men towards leadership and women towards being nurturers. Men's higher testosterone levels drive assertiveness and aggression, while women's higher oxytocin and estrogen levels promote social cohesion. Even in childhood, boys gravitate towards competitive play, where clear rules are used. Girls tend to engage in cooperative or relational activities. These differences may be cultivated or discouraged based on their parent's proclivities but are not simply learned behavior. They are ingrained in who God made us to be. When men and women embrace their natural strengths, families and communities thrive. But when we reject reality in favor of weakness and confusion, society collapses.

When gender distinctions are erased, the results are predictable: confusion, disorder, and brokenness. Young men drift aimlessly without purpose, rejecting responsibility and leadership. Young women are pressured to deny their natural femininity in pursuit of masculine ambition, leaving them exhausted and unfulfilled. Relationships suffer as men and women, rather than complementing one another, fall into an ongoing struggle for control, a struggle that has existed since the fall. What begins as a rejection of roles soon becomes a rejection of truth. A society that rejects gender distinctions ends up rejecting reality itself. 

“Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who substitute darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who substitute bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter.”

—Isaiah 5:20 (CSB)

We live in a world where many ignore this command from Isaiah. Distinctions are blurred, truth is inverted, and God's design is labeled oppressive. What is natural is now seen as restrictive. But rejecting reality does not make it disappear. The distinctions between men and women are not arbitrary. These distinctions are gifts to help us navigate this confusing world.

When women embrace their natural gift of nurturing, they cultivate life and community. When men embrace strength and leadership, they provide the protection that allows women's gifts to flourish. These roles are not oppressive; they are essential. The world may rebel against these truths, but that rebellion does not change what is real. Nature will always bear witness to God's design.

Embracing biblical manhood and womanhood is not about conforming to cultural stereotypes. It's about accepting the reality of who we were created to be. Men and women each carry unique strengths that complement, rather than compete with, one another. When we honor these distinctions, families thrive, communities are strengthened, and societies are built on a firm foundation.

Because these distinctions are foundational, they will shape not just individual identity but the most fundamental human relationship. Marriage. These distinctions are most powerfully displayed in that God-ordained covenant, which is why the war against gender roles is most fiercely fought by attacking marriage. In the next post, we will explore how these differences play out in marriage and why embracing them leads to strength rather than division.

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